


Room 116

by Suleiko



Category: Neon Genesis Evangelion
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Dorks in Love, F/F, Fluff, Homophobia, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Shinji, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Abuse, Slow Burn, enjoy some time loop theory folks, slow burn but not really at all
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-11-15 02:59:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11221866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suleiko/pseuds/Suleiko
Summary: In a world without impacts, without the Evangelions to pilot, without angels, Shinji Ikari is just as depressed and confused, and Kaworu Nagisa is still very, very in love with Shinji. Kawoshin college au, where nothing goes right for Kaworu or Shinji.





	1. Chapter 1

Shinji Ikari frantically looked up and down at his campus map and stumbled through the crowded hallway, desperately trying to find his dorm room. He was starting his first year of college at NERV University, a famous bio engineering school. Shinji didn’t have much interest in bioengineering to be honest, really Shinji wanted to go to a school of music to practice and improve his cello skills because that’s all he really was actually confident in and cared about.  
However, Shinji’s dad, Gendo Ikari, had other plans for him. Gendo was one of the founding members of NERV University so of course he forced Shinji in every way possible to go to his school instead of music school. Shinji knew the only reason he was at his college was so that one day he could take his place as the head of NERV. His father didn’t care at all what Shinji wanted to do or have his best interest at heart, he was at NERV for purely selfish reasons.  
Shinji nervously looked around the halls and felt like he stood out compared to everyone else. Everyone else seemed to know where they were going and what they were doing. You think Shinji would know his way around campus since his dad basically ran the school, but it’s not like his father had told him where to go or what to do; Shinji was all on his own. He sighed and scanned the map for what seemed like the 200th time before finally deeming it useless and crammed it into his bag. He just wanted to get into his dorm and listen to his old walkman. Shinji noticed a pair of girls who looked liked they knew what they were doing, so he approached them and lightly tapped of the girls on the shoulder. She whipped her head around and narrowed her eyes at Shinji. She was about Shinji’s height with long, burning red hair.  
“Can I help you?” She said sourly, glaring at him.  
“Y-yeah, can you help me find room 116?” He stuttered, trying to keep eye contact with the girl, although her piercing blue eyes made it hard.  
She began to open her mouth, probably just to reply with a snappy remark, but she was stopped by the quiet blue haired girl next to her. She looked at Shinji with a strange motherly gaze, like she had known Shinji from somewhere. But he brushed it off, knowing that would be practically impossible.  
“Down this hall, take a right. Third door down,” her voice sounded monotone and was hard to make out but Shinji understood.  
Shinji thanked her and quickly dashed away from the two girls, not wanting to upset the redheaded girl any further. He wasn’t looking at where he was going and all of a sudden tripped over something. No not something, someone. Shinji all of a sudden was having quite the intimate moment with the floor, his suitcase on top of him.  
“Oh goodness! Are you alright?” He heard someone speak. He looked up at where the voice was coming from and he felt his whole body stop. The person he ran into was a bit taller than him with silvery hair and strange, unearthly red eyes, but they seemed to stare into the deepest parts of Shinji’s mind. He was unnaturally pretty with almost white colored skin that seemed to be spotless. He looked almost angelic. Shinji could feel his face heating up when he noticed he hadn’t done anything but stare at the boy for about a minute.  
“You are really pretty,” he yelled quite loudly and then instantly cringing at himself. He had no idea why he said that outloud, the words just fell out of his mouth. He should be apologizing, not complimenting him on his looks.  
The boy stared down at him with a soft smile and opened his mouth to speak but before he could say anything Shinji clumsily stood up and ran away as quick as possible, trying to remember the directions the blue haired girl gave and just get to his room. Down the hall, take a left, third door down right? Shinji just hoped to never see that boy again and to forget this ever happened. The mysterious boy just stood there, confused and befuddled as to what just happened.  
Once Shinji finally made it to his room, after getting lost and having a panic attack in the middle of the hall for a few minutes, he stood outside his door, his heart racing from sprinting the whole way there. He slowly opened the door to see if his roommate was there, and he was. Shinji froze at who was standing in front of him, busy with unpacking his bags. It was the boy he ran into earlier. He turned around and looked Shinji up and down.  
“Are you alright?” He asked.  
“Who? Me? Um- yeah! I’m fine, uh, are you fine?” Shinji sputtered and winced at just how awkward he sounded.  
The boy chuckled, even his laugh was gorgeous, it sounded just like bubbles.  
“I’m wonderful, thank you. I don’t believe I’ve properly introduced myself. My name is Kaworu Nagisa, but you can just call me Kaworu. And you are?”  
“S-Shinji, Shinji Ikari.” Shinji felt his face heating up again. Geez, Kaworu looked so relaxed and composed. Why do all attractive people have to always be so cool? Especially after how we first met…he seems so nonchalant about it. Shinji thought to himself.  
“Oh, are you a part of the Ikari family? Are you by any chance related to Gendo Ikari?”  
“Yeah, I am,” Shinji muttered and rubbed his hand behind his neck, avoiding Kaworu’s eyes. Shinji slowly walked over to the bed that wasn’t occupied and dropped his bags on the bed hoping to avoid any conversation with the boy. Why was he so nice? He doesn’t even know Shinji. But he just decided to brush it off, he probably was just pitying Shinji. Afterall, he was the nerdy of type kid that everyone picked on.  
After Shinji was finished unpacking, he laid down on his bed, putting his old busted up walkman in his ears and tried to ignore Kaworu, but he couldn’t seem to drown out his humming. It wasn’t annoying, it just seemed to be too pretty. He seemed to realize it from somewhere, “Quatre Mains” he believed it was called. Shinji slowly took his earbuds out and decided to just listen to Kaworu’s humming, hoping he didn’t notice. It was nice, a peaceful break from the anxiety and living hell that was Shinji Ikari’s life. The humming stopped and Shinji felt a gaze on him. He shifted around to see Kaworu gazing at him from his bed.  
“Can I help you?” Shinji said, immediately scolding himself mentally for how he kinda sounded like an asshole.  
“Oh goodness, my apologies for starring, its just… Do you really think that I am pretty?” Kaworu said with a slightly mischievous look in his eyes.  
Shinji froze up and he thought back to his encounter with Kaworu earlier. He did call him pretty didn’t he. He felt his face heat up, he fucked up big this time.  
“W-well yeah. I mean no, like you are pretty.. That sounded gay, you are pretty but not in a gay way? You are like really gorgeous. But if you are gay that's fine! God damnit this is coming out wrong, but I think I love you.” Shinji noticed what he said and stopped moving, he wanted to stop breathing at that exact moment. He fucked up now. Did he just say I love you? Shinji could just feel Kaworu staring at him.  
“Well I appreciate it very much Shinji. I think you are also quite pretty,” Kaworu said in between angelic chuckles that made Shinji’s heart flutter.  
Suddenly there were three hard raps at the door and then it swung open.  
“Nagisa, you asshole!” A red haired girl yelled and stormed inside of the room, she stomped right up to Kaworu and smacked him upside the head with her phone.  
“Hello to you too, Asuka,” Kaworu said rubbing the now growing red spot on his cheek.  
Asuka looked right over towards Shinji and glared at him.  
“Oh it's you, the idiot who can’t tell which way he is walking,” she glared at him with icy blue eyes.  
Another girl walked in and placed her hand on Asuka’s shoulder and she looked back her eyes softening when she looked at the girl behind her.  
“Asuka, he has already had a hard day, let’s leave him be,” the blue haired girl said.  
Asuka scoffed at Shinji and walked towards the door.  
“Asuka, did you need something?” Kaworu asked to as she stormed away.  
“Oh yeah, you took my textbook and you still haven’t given it back. Hurry up and give it back already!” Asuka snapped at him before slamming the door shut.  
The three teenagers left in the room all looked at each other before the blue haired girl finally spoke up.  
“I'm sorry about her, just know she doesn’t mean anything by it,” she looked towards Shinji.  
“My name is Rei Ayanami by the way.”  
“I’m uh, Shinji. Ikari. Shinji Ikari,” he said nervously, trying to maintain eye contact with her. She smiled a little and nodded at him.  
Kaworu began to hum again, a soft relaxing tune this time. Shinji’s phone rang and he checked who it was. It was Misato, his guardian. He picked it up.  
“Hello?”  
“Shinji! I’m outside with the rest of your things, come get them, I need to get back to work soon.”  
“Oh, okay, here I come,” Shinji muttered into the phone before standing up to leave.  
“I uh, need to go get the rest of my things, I’ll be back.”  
He didn’t wait for a response, he just quickly slipped out of the door, shutting it behind him and rushing down the narrow hallway.  
“Lilim are still such fascinating creatures aren’t they, Tabris. Please bring Ikari the happiness he deserves,” Rei softly spoke, not looking at him, but looking at the walkman on Shinji’s bed.  
“Thank you, Lilith,” Kaworu said.  
Rei walked out of the room, not saying anything or looking back at Kaworu.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was not Beta Read by my amazing beta reader (Shoutout to her, she is so amazing and I love her) bc I am really impatient... I will probably repost this with the beta read version (^▽^;)

Shinji laid there in his bed, listening to his old walkman again. He just stares up at the ceiling. It's strange, Kaworu had been out all day. Not like he cared, they were barely friends. He probably was out with Asuka. They seemed to be really close, they probably were dating. It's not like Shinji cared though, because Kaworu wasn’t anything but a friend to him. Asuka is a lucky girl though, to be dating the most attractive boy in the world. His platinum hair that Shinji wants nothing more to bury his face in, his smooth confident voice, those piercing red eyes that look like rubies. Shinji really liked how Kaworu looked, but not in a gay way of course! Shinji Ikari was 100% straight, probably.

“He is just so dense Asuka,” Kaworu muttered while burying his face into the red head’s pillow.  
“What else can you expect from a sheltered rich boy, I doubt your gayness really is helping him adjust, let alone help you get into bed with him,” Asuka said snarkily, while snaking her arms around Rei’s waist, and burying her face into Rei’s black tank top. Rei didn’t spare Asuka a glance and just kept reading, but Asuka noticed the light pink color that now dusted her cheeks.  
“And I doubt that you are helping me either, because he thinks that we are going out apparently,” Kaworu said, still not removing his face from the pillow.  
Before Asuka could even say anything Rei said in a very stern tone.  
“You aren’t.”  
“Aww Rei, are you jealous of Nagisa? It's ok no one could ever take me away from you babe,” Asuka said lovingly taunting the blue haired girl.  
“I thought I told you not to call me that,” she said, her cheeks now turning a darker shade of pink as she brought her book a bit closer to her face.  
“She loves it,” Asuka said to Kaworu.  
“Can’t either of you just let me suffer right now without rubbing it in my face that you guys aren’t in love with a depressed, anxious mess of a boy?” Kaworu said, glancing up at them.  
“I don’t like boys,” Rei said blankly.  
“Yeah we know,” Kaworu and Asuka said in unison  
Kaworu looked down at his phone to check the time. 11:47.  
“Alright I probably should get going.” He said looking up at the girls, Asuka’s hand was slowly snaking underneath Rei’s shirt. He could see Rei’s face heating up again, as she slapped Asuka’s hand away and glared at the now smirking redhead.

~

Shinji jumped when the door swung open, and he heard light footsteps. Kaworu must be back from going over to Asuka’s. He took a good look at the usually well put together boy. He didn’t look how he normally does, his hair was a mess, there were bags under his eyes, and his cheeks were tinted red. He walked over to his bed and fell down onto the well made bed.  
“K, Kaworu are you ok?” Shinji said quietly.  
“Yes Shinji, I am fine thank you for asking though,” he said weakly, shifting his gaze towards the curious brunette.  
Shinji’s eyes met Kaworu’s and he just couldn’t seem to take his eyes away from his. He knew that his cheeks must be heating up now, but he just keep looking into the white haired boys eyes. They were so captivating to Shinji, he didn’t know why those red ruby eyes were so gorgeous. This was the first time in the last two weeks that the two boys have had just the two of them together. It always seemed that Asuka and Rei were over, or other of Kaworu’s many friends. He seemed to have grown pretty popular with boys and girls. 

Whenever anyone was over, Shinji felt a strange feeling, a burning in his chest, a feeling of jealously. He hated it, but it wasn’t like there was anything between the two boys… But what if there was? Shinji thought. 

What if Kaworu would hold him when he was sad, what if Kaworu would kiss his tears away when he cried. What if Kaworu would hold his hand when he was anxious walking down the hall, and sing to him and him only. Shinji could feel that his face was bright red, why was he thinking about Kaworu in this way? It wasn’t like he liked him or anything. 

Shinji snapped out of his thoughts and when he looked in front of him he jumped slightly. Kaworu was sitting in front of his bed, so close to Shinji’s face, his head was on the same pillow that Shinji’s was on, Shinji could hear his breathing hitch. Was Kaworu crying? Shinji couldn’t understand what was happening, Shinji opened his mouth to speak but Kaworu spoke before he could even say anything.  
“No need to speak, just let me stay here for now.” He said, his voice slightly trembling.

Kaworu’s mind was racing, he had reset to find Shinji so many times, he had tried to make him happy so many times, he had watched him die so many times, he had to watch as Shinji watched him die, he had watched Shinji as he grew up and grew away from him. Sometimes he was too late, and had to live out the rest of his life alone.  
“Goodnight Shinji Ikari, sweet dreams.” Kaworu whispered to the now sleeping boy before lightly kissing his cheek after making sure he was asleep, then going over to lay down on his bed.

 

Little did he know. Shinji Ikari was a lot of things, but he for sure was not sleeping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im sorry this one was short! The next chapter will be where the spicyness really starts happening. Im also added some asurei spicys for you, I am too much of a baby to actually write smut, so that is the closest you will ever get probably. (Its up to you for what happened after Kaworu left (･ω<)☆)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so to explain something. I'm adding little bits here and there of the time loop theory, but it is not the main focus. Im making it so its pretty much Kaworu has seen lots of Shinji's, but each one is different, he has never met this Shinji... Ok i'm bad at explaining but just pretend that they have never met each other up to when they first ran into each other! Sorry for all the notes >.<  
> Also omg thank you guys so much for the support!!!

Shinji was sitting in a two hour class taught by Ms. Ritsuko, it was his bioengineering class and was just as boring as he expected it to be. He tuned out a while back because his mind was racing about what happened last night. Kaworu definitely kissed his cheek, but he is dating Asuka! Was is some cruel joke of his trying to toy with his feelings, but that didn’t sound like the kind of thing that Kaworu would do. He looked over at the boy who was on the other side of the large room, he was happily taking notes like the perfect student he was. Kaworu must have realized Shinji was staring and looked over at him, he flashed him that perfect angelic smile again. He quickly looked away to avoid his look. 

After class was over Shinji stood up to leave, he looked back at Kaworu to see that he had a group of about six people surrounding him. They all looked flustered and were all blushing messes. It was strange Kaworu didn’t seem to be interested in them, but he kept his gaze on Shinji. He waved to Shinji, Shinji stood there mouth gaping and waved back weakly with an uncomfortable smile, then kept walking, trying to avoid Kaworu.

Kaworu managed to sift through the people and grab onto Shinji’s arm before he walked out. Shinji jumped in shock and looked behind him.

“O, Oh hi Kaworu! Do you need something?” He said, his voice shaking a bit.

“Would you care to join me for lunch? Kaworu replied.

Shinji glanced at the people that were still hanging around Kaworu, he saw some of them glaring at him, obviously jealous.   
“I, um, i’m not hungry, thank you though.” Shinji said.

“Well, i’m going to be at the cafe if you change your mind!” Kaworu replied happily.

~

Kaworu sat in the back of the small cafe in the college campus, he typed idly on his laptop. He felt someone looking at him and looked up. He was surprised on who he saw. Shinji stood in front of him, clutching his backpack.  
“Um, hi, Kaworu.” Shinji said.

“Hello Shinji! I’m glad to see you made it!” Kaworu said, moving his bag off of the chair next to him, letting Shinji sit down.

“Ah, um, thank you!” He said, sitting down in the now open chair tentatively.

Kaworu looked back at his computer and resumed typing. Shinji opened up his laptop and   
turned the device on. He looked over at Kaworu and marveled at how beautiful he looked right now. The lights hitting his hair just right, making it look like shimmering snow, his slender fingers typing away carelessly. How those curious ruby eyes stared at the screen, flitting around as he typed. 

Shinji managed to look away from the boy and look back to his computer screen. He noticed a notification up in the top right corner, it was from the app he uses to talk with Kensuke and Toji, his two best friends from his high school. He opened it up and saw it was from Kensuke.

 

3:39 Kensuke: hey shinji can toji and i come over tonight

3:48 Shinji: Why do you guys need to come over?

3:50 Kensuke: toji brought a girl over and tried 2 cook and accidentally filled our apartment with smoke lol

3:50 Shinji: Yeah I guess you can stay the night, I have a roommate but I don’t think that he will mind.

3:51 Kensuke: oh yea i have heard about him toji told me about ur crush on him lololol

3:51 Shinji: I don’t have a crush on him!

Shinji quietly scolded himself for telling Toji anything about Kaworu.

3:52 Kensuke: yeah mhm sure keep the gay in ur pants

3:53 Shinji: I hate you Kensuke.

3:54 Kensuke: lmao love u 2, btw we will b over in like two hours??

3:54 Shinji: Alright, i’ll see you guys then.

Shinji closed the browser and sighed, resting his head on his keyboard. He closed his eyes and tried to forget the chaos that is his life.  
“  
Shinji, are you alright?” Kaworu said, resting his hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Kaworu, would you be ok with having two extra people in our dorm for the night?” Shinji said, while weakly looking up at the white haired boy. Kaworu blinked in confusion.

“May I ask why?” He said.

“Well, one of them filled their apartment with smoke.” Shinji said, looking back at his computer with a distressed sigh. 

Kaworu chuckled lightly and nodded. “I was looking forward to having you to myself tonight, but they are welcome to stay with us.” Kaworu said, not looking up from his computer screen.

Shinji felt his cheeks turning bright red at Kaworu’s comment. He froze and couldn’t even begin to say anything. Did Kaworu really just say that? What did he mean by that? He knew that he must look like an idiot, staring at his screen not actually doing anything, and his face is bright red. 

“Are you sure you are alright Shinji?” Kaworu said, making Shinji quickly jump in his seat.

“Ah, um, yeah i’m just fine!” Shinji said weakly.

“I think you may have a fever Shinji. Here let me check.” Kaworu said before leaning in close to shinji and examining his face, Shinji felt like he was about to faint right there. He could feel Kaworu’s breath on his face.

His lips were almost touching his, if he just leaned in a little bit closer, Shinji could feel his body slightly leaning forward, just a bit closer and he could connect their lips. Kaworu pulled away.

“Well, you seem ok.” Kaworu said, smiling at him and going back to typing on his laptop.

Shinji stared straight forward, he couldn’t seem to look anywhere else, he couldn’t speak, and he furrowed his brow trying to understand what just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY FOR THE WEIRD AF FORMATTING. Also after this chapter is probably where things are really gonna start getting spicy.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic ever so please don't judge it to hard ^u^ Im gonna try to update weekly, but I have a lot of free time so I might just end up updating either really long chapters at a time, or several times a week! But I will try to get at least one chapter out to you guys a week.


End file.
